I logged into MyBlogLog today and was stunned to find that Paris Hilton had joined my community. What was even more exciting was the fact that she left me a comment that said she thought I was “one hot monkey.”
Now to some, that might sound like an insult, but to me it’s a clear sign that she actually reads this blog and/or listens to SEO Rockstars. And if she does read here, or listen to the podcast, she’s probably started to figure out she really needs some professional help.
Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that she’s embracing the whole Social Media thing, but it doesn’t look like her MyBlogLog presence is really helping her much with more traditional SEO type things like Ranking for her name. And we all know that not ranking for your own name is a bad thing when you are about to deal with a huge reputation management issue.
What Paris really needs is a good SEO consultant. So I’m going to take advantage of the fact you think I’m hot to make you an offer you can’t refuse:
Paris,
I’ll work for you for 6 months free of charge. I’ll make sure none of the bad stuff makes page one, and I’ll also help http://www.parishilton.com take its rightful place at the top of the page. All I want in return is the chance to spend one weekend with
your car.
That’s it. Pretty good deal huh?
So why exactly would I bee willing to give up 6 months of my normal fees just to spend two days driving a car? Pretty simple really. Paris’ daily driver happens to be the greatest car ever made.
(And if you think I’m exaggerating, take the time to watch this video)
I’m completely obsessed with it. The McLaren SLR is my dream car. 627 hp, 0-60 in 3.8 and a top speed of 208 mph. All that supercar performance stuffed into a package that also has an automatic transmission, vibrating electric seats with built-in heating and cooling, air conditioning, a kickass Bose stereo system with a multi CD changer, and cruise control. Mercedes luxury with near Ferrari Enzo performance. And all for about half the price. You just can’t get any cooler than that.
So how about it Paris?
Just give me the word, and I’ll take off early on a Friday and drive down to Hollywood. Then we’ll meet up and switch cars. If you’re not interested in driving my car for the weekend, I’ll even take the time to show you how to put gas in the Bentley. That way, you won’t even miss the SLR.
After we’ve swapped keys, all jump in your car and haul ass back up to the good ole Santa Clarita Valley. (Normally about a 20 minute drive, but I think I could do it in less than 10) Once I’m home, I’ll spend the next two days terrorizing the streets of the SCV. If I don’t get arrested, I’ll bring the car back on Monday morning, and then we’ll sit down and get to work fixing all your Internet messes.
{ 16 comments }
I think if you spend all weekend sitting in her car, you’ll contract some sort of Super Hybrid Mutant STD.
Totally worth the risk. (Although, now that I think about it, it is the same care Britney was sitting in without any…..)
{sniff … sniff} smells like somebody put on a lab coat and has an experiment running
My dad came real close to buying that McLaren SLR. I got to sit in it. I was very sad because my butt was too big to fit int he seat. The seats are very small. The seats hold you in one place.
hahahahaha to graywolf.
Lol looks like Britney_Spears just visited your site.
Eminent scientists are busy at work. It’s strange that she could possibly be checking out these blogs… small world?
I think that lab coat might need be a raincoat: I hope that AOL/Netscrape doesn’t rain down on that experiment.
LOL. I agree with graywolf’s comment.
It’s totally worth it. For what I have been trying to tap into, which is rep management for celebs and politicians can you imagine a bigger cash cow?
How much of your time can I get if I let you have the wife’s Saturn for a month?? I’ll even fill the tank..
Wow, I wonder why Paris hasn’t checked out my sites, I got some robots.txt dedicated for her. Oh well, I’m just nobody anyway. :p
I agree with the lab coats and rain coats. But sometimes it’s also running in the rain.
I guess I was sleepy, In my previous comment, I meat: “But sometimes it’s also nice running in the rain”
You meat?
Another typo, supposed to be “I meant”
My take is that this guy erroneously named after the French capital city and having a stupid surname which sounds like a well-known motel chain must have a mustash longer than Dax before he auctioned it. I also suspect he must be hairyier than him as otherwise why would this Hilton chap be authoring Online Business and Search Marketing Blog as stated in the linked profile
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